Balance. Even saying the word I feel like I'm teetering towards pronouncing one side of the word more than the other. Why is it so hard for me? I think I try so hard to balance that I unequivocally end up falling of the beam just from the pure pressure of it!
I started this blog for one reason. To have a separate place to post my creativity; since my personal family blog was turning into the Angela Craft Show. It (Love Sweet Love) took off a lot faster than I expected it too (and I'm so grateful-this has been SO fun for me!) and I felt the pressure to-and wanted- to keep up with the response. My kids have not been neglected. My house has not been neglected. My husband has not been neglected (I blog at night while he does homework!). My church responsibilities have not been neglected. But I am MAXED out! I feel like such a wimp admitting this, but it's the truth. The more "out there" I put myself and this blog, the more "out there" I am, rather than "right here." I'm not saying it works this way for everyone! I know there are LOTS of people who can juggle 10 different responsibilities with their eyes closed and one arm tied behind their back and still feel good and content at the end of the day. That person is not me.
I PROMISED myself that if this blog started to feel like a chore I would stop. Creating is my passion. My outlet. My sanity when I'm faced with problems I have no control over (like wanting a baby, having a husband still in school, watching my best friend move). But at what point do you sacrifice your immediate wants (crafting my day away ha ha!) for your future wants (a close, happy, loving family)? Where do you create the balance? I feel that it is important for me to continue to develop my talents and pursue things I'm passionate about, but I feel that it is as equally (and lots more in some ways) important to help my children discover and pursue their talents. When I spend all of nap time and all of my evenings crafting and blogging away I feel that I'm not achieving that balance. (please note this is JUST me! I know there are lots of you that find that balance and I respect and admire that!!) And it's not that I feel guilty about this necessarily...it's more of a becoming acutely aware that I'm starting to head down a path I'm sure will be harder to back peddle out of later rather than sooner. So I'm stepping back. NOT going away, just stepping back.
I want to slow down before crafting feels like a necessity in order to have a 'popular' blog. I want to slow down before blogging feels like a chore I have to check off my list in order to sleep good at night. I want to slow down before I stop reading every blog I love for inspiration because there are just simply not enough hours in the day. I need to slow down before I miss my little ones grow up. So thank you for reading. Thank you for coming back day after day. Thank you for commenting. Thank you for liking what I do and following along; it has made this decision all the harder. But this time in my life is not about me. It's about my 2 precious gifts and I am more than ok with that. In fact I love it. I cherish it. I embrace it and thank my Heavenly Father for it every day of my life.
So I am going back to the basics to search for my balance. Back to my one reason for starting this blog and hope that you will still check back from time to time (like tomorrow because I'm guest posting on a FUN blog with a pretty cool project!) to see what I've got going on cause trust me...I still got a lot to say! ha ha! (my husband's still in school for another year so I'm going to need something to keep me busy at nights-we don't have tv!)
P.S. I've had a few experiences over the last couple weeks that led to this decision, but want to know what kick-started my brain wheels a turnin'? This post (which I found through a friends blog). Her experience happens to me almost verbatim every morning (only she writes it 10000 times more beautifully than I could have ever put it into words). That's when my heart told my head it was time for a little change.
7 comments:
Congrats on figuring this out for yourself and being willing to step back. I think that takes real courage.
Welcome to the club!
(As you may have seen), I've written "this post" a couple of times now!
It IS so hard to balance all of this .... and I have felt the exact same way and have cut back quite a bit, too.
It is a good feeling, not feeling that I HAVE to do a new project every few days -- or even once a week!
I figure ... realistically, it's not like my blog is going to be "famous" someday or anything, so who cares how fast it grows!? ... Or even IF it grows!
It's flattering to even have a few hundred people, reading along with what I have to say! :-)
It's just so easy to get caught up in the excitement of it all.
You are such a great mom -- and person, in general! I think you ROCK!
Have a great week, Angela!
~Bec
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one feeling this way. Amen to that sista!! I feel the EXACT same way. I agree that when it becomes a chore, take a break. I'm thinking about this too. I have so much respect for you for being open and honest, and surely no one will disapprove of you spending more time with your little ones!! I'll say a prayer for ya!
Can I make a confession? It's almost nice to hear you admit that you're human ;) You're a babe and I've always admired how put together you are. I seriously say to Brad, "I hope I can be as cute and crafty and organized and as good of a mom as Angela Bricker someday" haha. Kinda silly, but true. So good for you for knowing your limits. You're still amazing and wonderful and I don't know how you do it all. Now I'll have more time for stuff instead of stalking your darling blog ;)
I completely relate. It is so hard.....hang in there though 'cuz I love your blog! :)
Hi!I found you on JessaJill. I completely agree! I am a new blogger and I started to have my own space. Someday it would be great to do it full time but I do not have any expectations. I didn't realize how hard and stressful it can be if you let it. I look around at other blogs and thinkg - how do you do it? How do they run 1 or more blogs, have time for family, and keep up with all the other wife/mommy responsibilities. It doesn't seem possible.
It is nice to know that I am not the only person who feel this way. I could honestly go on and on about this topic. I might need to write a post myself about it.
I am a new follower and I am looking forward to your next post whenever that may be.
Ginger
www.literallyinspired.com
Blah I completely have a hard time with this too. It is strange how quickly blogging can become more than just a fun hobby! I really like how Bec from LLL said it, it is fun and flattering that people like the things that you are doing but who cares beyond that? I HATE feeling like I HAVE to do anything..... (That is why I can't keep a schedule on my blog---I would feel like I needed to keep up with it). I have to say though, slow down, enjoy what you are doing but please please don't go away, I would be wayyyyy to sad---you have been my blogging friend and I feel so blessed for that.
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